i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Randomize
