i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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