Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
