batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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