Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
