Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
