Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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