Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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