In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize