I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
