Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
