this boner is exhausting
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
