why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize