She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
