I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize