If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
