actually, I'm a sock model
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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