Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
