frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
