Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
