Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
