Please, let me fuck your mom
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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