I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
it's like iHOP with fire
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
