i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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