Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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