Your dad touched me again.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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