Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
