If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This baby is an asshole
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
