umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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