she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
