before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
