I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
