I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i think my cat just said my name.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
