I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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