Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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