Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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