So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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