I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
