she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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