Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
