Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
