Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
