I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So drunk its hurt
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
