she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
