just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
