every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
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