Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just google imaged poop.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
