mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
