so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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