So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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