I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
