she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
