I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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