Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
