Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
