you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
