if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
