from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Randomize
