do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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