susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
