Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
