You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
